Math Humour

I found this news clipping in a blog post that has since gone broken. If some knows where it originally comes from, please let me know.

NEW YORK - A public school teacher was arrested today at John
F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a
slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra
movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the
FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Ashcroft said. “They desire
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents
in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’
and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we have determined
they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with
coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles
used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle.’

‘When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If
God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He
would have given us more fingers and toes.” White House
aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound
statement by the president.